Being human

All too human

How can we bring out the best in ourselves

Consistently

Reliably

To choose love

To share love

Oh yes

Practice

The post Being Your Own Love Being appeared first on Pamela Miles.

What do you practice?

Not the obvious — sitting for meditation, getting on your yoga mat, or placing hands for self Reiki (to mention my favorites).

What is your hidden practice, your mind’s default, what your mind does when you aren’t telling it what to do (as in most of the time)?

Every mind has a practice, a habit it defaults to. Your mind is no different.

What does your mind practice when left on its own?

Does your mind practice gratitude or self-love? Or does it practice some variation of self-doubt or self-criticism?

Transforming your default

A conscious daily practice — one you choose and continue choosing each day — changes your mind’s default so when the going gets tough — as it does at times — your mind supports you instead of digging you in deeper.

Is there a practice you enjoy but practice sporadically?

Can you restructure your practice — and your expectations — so you actually practice every day? What amount of time could you commit to comfortably? Twenty minutes? Ten? Five? Two? One?

Consistent practice is possible

Even a minute of practice consistently each day is enough to transform your life.

It’s easiest to be consistent if you choose a time of your day to practice — as you arise or go to bed, before you eat, etc. You might need some support to start that habit, but soon you’ll enjoy your daily respite so much that you’ll look forward to it, and rely on its support.

Yes, the effort you can make is enough to transform your life. As long as you keep making it. That’s when it becomes a practice.

Time to choose

Choose a practice you feel excited about. Now is a good time. Otherwise, it becomes one more thing you have to do.

If you don’t have a practice, here’s one anyone can do: breathe.

Breathing is the easiest practice because your body already practices it. All you need to do is pay attention to a few breaths. Pay attention, as in enjoying a few breaths. Not changing your breath, but rather keeping the company of your breath.

If you already have a consistent daily practice, would you like to refresh it? Here’s an idea: as you start your practice each day, think of one thing you are grateful for. It can be a very small thing. There will be days when a tiny bit of gratitude is huge.

The real secret

The secret to continuing practice is motivation. If you practice defensively — because you want to change or be better or stop talking so much or whatever — you will run out of steam.

But if you practice from gratitude and self-love — simply because you are grateful to be, and this is the person you get to be now — your gratitude and self-love will continually refresh your practice. And your practice will continually refresh you.

Why not love yourself now? If you don’t love yourself, who will?

Then let your enthusiasm to take good care of yourself — for your own sake and the sake of those you love and those you don’t even know — carry you forward through this Year of Practice.

Supporting one another

Please tell us what practice you choose in a comment below. Then let’s support one another by sharing our #yearofpractice generously, inviting others to join us.

What goodness might we manifest in the world this year with our daily practice?

The post Your Year of Practice appeared first on Pamela Miles.

How many times have you put down the phone and wished you’d said, “No?” Or walked away from a conversation feeling resentful, like you’d just given away the store.

It happens so fast, and then it’s really hard to take back.

When someone around you is angry, do you pick up their agitation and carry it with you?

When a friend needs support, do you listen and comfort, or do you feel the need to fix?

Imagine the difference it would make if you could stay steady, if you didn’t get intimidated or sucked into people’s emotional states, if you could graciously hold your own when someone puts the pressure on, provokes a confrontation, or is emotional.

Those Boundary Moments are where the rubber hits the road, where we make choices that support us, or sink us. Our skill with boundaries — or lack of it — affects every part of our lives.

I know you can do better. And it’s really not so hard. At least not once you find the right help.

Can you really learn boundaries?

If you were more skillful with boundaries, you would feel more in control of your time, and your life. How does that sound?

For years, I’ve taught a transformational boundary class, Spiritual Self Protection, here in New York City, including at the NY Open Center (and one winter in San Juan!). Attendees have been astounded by the results. Even I was astounded by the results.

And I was moved by the need.

People around the world asked to be included. “Is there a recording?” they’d say. But the class wasn’t an event we could record. I wanted to help —  I truly did — but how?

I’m a recovering perfectionist, and it took a bit of time to develop an online format I felt good about, one that I knew would really work for you. Not hours of videos you buy and never watch, but an interactive format that accommodates itself to what your days and nights are really like, and brings transformation home to you. I mean literally in your own home, on your own schedule.

And finally, I’ve done it, and it’s road-tested. For the past year, I’ve led online programs that have been life-changing for many. Now I’m using that format to offer a boundaries program.

Your new best friend

In BETTER BOUNDARIES, you’ll learn heart-writing, a simple practice I’ve developed and can’t wait to share.

Heart-writing offers you a gentle yet profound path to knowing and loving yourself more fully, so you naturally develop clear, compassionate boundaries. And the best news is that it’s easy to learn, and easy to practice, even with a busy schedule.

Please join me for this transformative program. BETTER BOUNDARIES starts Friday, June 17.

The post Boundary Patrol appeared first on Pamela Miles.

I climbed the stairs to the roof last night, hoping the full moon would be visible in the overcast sky. It wasn’t, but its radiance was.

The moon itself could not be seen, but neither could the clouds obscure its fullness.

Inspired by the moon’s persistence, I sat down to drink in its soft radiance, hopeful the clouds would part.

Guru Purnima

In India, the full moon is celebrated each month as the fullest, purest, most complete expression of blessing. The full moon in July — Guru Purnima — celebrates the unique blessings of the teacher.

Since living in India decades ago, each July, I reflect on the fullness of my teachers’ blessings, and feel how they continue to nourish me.

Where would I be — who would I be — without my teachers?

Our teachers’ blessings

Teachers see something in us we don’t yet see. Their vision gives us confidence that with consistent, dedicated effort, we can find our gifts and bring them forth.

We hit rocky patches as we strive to express our gifts, and stumble in the darkness more than once.

Like the full moon, our teachers’ radiance shines in us even when we feel more defined by our clouds.

Thanking our teachers

The teacher’s form passes, but the teacher’s blessings are timeless. They live in our memory, fed by our gratitude.

What action can you practice today to thank your teachers by expressing the values they inspired? That practice, done every day, is a living memorial to the blessings that sustain you, and all of us.

How do your teachers’ blessings continue to support you? Please share in a comment.

The post A Teacher’s Blessings appeared first on Pamela Miles.

Would you conjure up a smile for me, please? As in, now.

Feel it curl your lips and soften your eyes. Then check in with yourself. What else has softened?

Even the smallest, briefest smile immediately changes your state, easing your physiology toward greater health. All that good stuff happens effortlessly, no matter how grumpy you are when you start.

Smile Practice isn’t so much something you do as something you allow.

Do you feel your smile just waiting to be let out? Even if you’ve locked it away somewhere, you can open the door.

As you continue to practice smiling, you’ll develop the habit of steady happiness, a state you can inhabit no matter what is happening in your life, or your world.

Your happiness, your priority

Why would you wait passively for happiness to happen to you, when you can easily choose to be happy now?

Practice smiling whenever you think of it during the day, and make a point to welcome each day with a smile, smiling before you even open your eyes. Practice smiling again as you close your eyes for sleep.

Start your Smile Practice today and watch your happiness increase. Your Smile Practice will lead to a Happiness Habit, and who knows what else will improve in your life, and in your world!

Our world could use more happy people. Don’t you agree?

Your happiness helpers

Want a little help starting your Happiness Habit? I have two freebies to help you get happy and stay happy.

HAPPINESS HELPER #1

Sign up here for my 21-day Happiness Practice email series and I’ll send very short reminders to your inbox everyday for the next three weeks, happiness reminders you can read and use immediately to change your state.

The series has helped thousands of people experience the difference choosing to be happy can make. Here’s how Happiness Practice helped two people just last week:

The daily Happiness Practice was a wonderful reminder to start the day remembering the goodness the surrounds us all. Be Happy Now. After all, isn’t that all we have? Now. — Betsy Guagin

The Happiness Practice couldn’t have been scheduled at a better time, as an old wound presented itself for healing. The daily prompts helped me work through a time of great agitation. I feel grounded, settled and realizing every moment of everyday. Thank you for your support and mentoring. You are a teacher’s teacher. — Mary Jo DiBenedetto

HAPPINESS HELPER #2

It’s easier to stay happy when you have healthy, compassionate boundaries. If you are thinking, “I wish” — wish no longer!

Join me for a free online class in which I’ll share practical, spiritual tips to improve your boundaries. Click here now to register!

The post Happy Now appeared first on Pamela Miles.

It seems a thick cloud of anxiety has settled in, and no matter where you live, there is plenty to blame it on. But where does blaming events we cannot control leave us?

In a thick cloud of anxiety.

Whether it’s politics or terrorism or the economy or health concerns, so many things can go wrong in so many ways, and for many, fear has become a constant companion.

Stop now please

Don’t go there. For your sake and the sake of all of us, don’t run after all the ways your life could be upended at any moment. Don’t let your mind wander into what-ifs. Don’t vote for panic.

Stay present with what’s right. Come home now.

Every day

Your daily spiritual practice is a visit home. When you come home to yourself every day, you feel supported and nourished. You remember your value…and your values.

Your chosen spiritual practice might be Reiki, meditation, yoga, qigong, prayer — the list of possibilities is long. Or it could be something as simple as pausing to smile.

No matter which practice(s) you rely on to bring you home, you’ll create the most benefit for yourself (and those around you) by practicing daily, as in every day.

When you practice daily, you develop the habit of coming home to yourself instead of spinning into anxiety even when you are not practicing. Imagine how that will transform your life.

Keep coming home. Practice coming home. Practice now.

____________________________

Are you a Reiki practitioner? I’d love to meet you in Europe at one of these events that will support your practice and help you help more people:
EDINBURGH Communicating Reiki to Everyone October 22
MADRID Communicating Reiki to Everyone October 26 (with Spanish translation)
LISBON Reiki Conference October 29 (two talks with Portuguese translation)
COPENHAGEN Reiki & Medicine November 4-6
PARIS Communicating Reiki to Everyone November 9

The post Come Home Now appeared first on Pamela Miles.

Don’t wait for a more special occasion — Happy New You starts anytime you choose. Right now is a good time.

Pause now for a moment of happiness.

How to do that? It’s so simple. Just take a moment and smile. Not at anyone, not for any reason. Just smile to enjoy the feeling a smile brings. Feel your smile move through you. Feel your radiance.

Your happiness habit

Did you ever imagine happiness could be so easy?

Well, there is one small catch. Happy New You is not a choice you make once and done. It’s a choice you make every day, at least once a day. It’s a practice.

You want to be good at being happy, don’t you? Practice is how you get good at something, by practicing, and practicing regularly. Did I mention, every day? As in being happy every day, at least for a moment.

Practice makes happy

When you practice happiness consistently, your practice becomes a habit, a very good habit, one that links you to your happiness. The path to happiness becomes one you know very well.

When your life includes the Happy New You habit, your life is transformed. When you are happy, you make choices that help you stay happy.

And when you practice happiness consistently, other less savory habits naturally weaken.

You don’t need another resolution to break; you need an easy habit to support you. One you can start now and enjoy anytime you want. A happiness habit.

Help for your Happy New You practice

Here are two free supports for your Happy New You practice. Please choose one — or both!

21 Days of Happiness emails help you start your Happy New You whether or not you have any experience with spiritual practice.

A month of daily self-Reiki support is for everyone who has been trained to practice Reiki in any lineage or practice style.

Happiness starts with clear, compassionate boundaries. The boundary you set around your Happy New You practice, for example. Need help with that? Join me for Blessed Boundaries.

The post Happy New You Now — Here’s How! appeared first on Pamela Miles.

Have you visited your center lately?

Not the outside center where you feel the support of your community — although that’s also a good idea — but your inside center, that state where you feel like your true self, the steady, grounded version of yourself that might now seem like a distant memory.

Center for stamina

You’ve heard a lot about the fight or flight response. There is a third way you can experience the stress response: you can freeze, unable to respond at all.

Winston Churchill advised, “If you’re going through hell, keep going.”

But how can you soldier on when you feel frozen, your nerves are frayed, you’re not sleeping well, and you see your stamina draining moment by moment?

Backing out of chaos

These times are made for spiritual practice.

When times are tough, it actually becomes easier to experience the gentle transformative power of spiritual practice. Even a brief practice will refresh you and move you towards your center, and brief practice repeated daily can literally transform your life.

All you have to do is actually practice (it’s not enough to just think about practicing).

Spiritual practice creates the habit of transformation, of strategic retreat. You back out of the chaos and into your stillness.

Retreat to your center

I live in New York City in what has lately been referred to as the United States of Anxiety. I practice Reiki and meditation daily, and yoga most days. That’s how I go beyond coping to experience peace and find my creativity.

Even with decades of daily spiritual practice, I can hardly wait to lead the Heart of Practice Reiki Retreat because I know six days of practice in a natural setting will take me even deeper and refresh me more profoundly than my home practice does. And there’s science to support that wellness weeks create lasting benefit. (If you are thinking of joining us, early retreat fees end Saturday, February 4.)

I know coming to Mexico might not be an option for you right now. That’s why I’m leading Blessed Boundaries, a retreat you can do at home, in 20-30 minutes a day, on your schedule, with unlimited online support from me and an international community of people like you reaching for their center.

Maybe you cannot join us for Blessed Boundaries, but surely you can watch the free introduction. You’ll learn five different, simple practices for free, practices you can start using immediately to quickly improve your state. We practice them together and you can continue practicing on your own. Or revisit the recording as many times as you want. And did I mention it’s free?

Center to change

We can’t create the world we envision without a commitment to finding our center every day, and returning to center throughout the day.

These times are made for spiritual practice. If you want to transform your world, the first step is to transform your own state. Please join me.

The post Why You Need to Center, and How You Can appeared first on Pamela Miles.

Would you conjure up a smile for me, please? As in, now.

Feel it curl your lips and soften your eyes. Then check in with yourself. What else has softened?

Even the smallest, briefest smile immediately changes your state, easing your physiology toward greater health. All that good stuff happens effortlessly, no matter how grumpy you are when you start.

Smile Practice isn’t so much something you do as something you allow.

Do you feel your smile just waiting to be let out? Even if you’ve locked it away somewhere, you can open the door.

As you continue to practice smiling, you’ll develop the habit of steady happiness, a state you can inhabit no matter what is happening in your life, or your world.

Your happiness, your priority

Why would you wait passively for happiness to happen to you, when you can easily choose to be happy now?

Practice smiling whenever you think of it during the day, and make a point to welcome each day with a smile, smiling before you even open your eyes. Practice smiling again as you close your eyes for sleep.

Start your Smile Practice today and watch your happiness increase. Your Smile Practice will lead to a Happiness Habit, and who knows what else will improve in your life, and in your world!

Our world could use more happy people. Don’t you agree?

Your happiness helpers

Want a little help starting your Happiness Habit? I have two freebies to help you get happy and stay happy.

HAPPINESS HELPER #1

Sign up here for my 21-day Happiness Practice email series and I’ll send very short reminders to your inbox everyday for the next three weeks, happiness reminders you can read and use immediately to change your state.

The series has helped thousands of people experience the difference choosing to be happy can make. Here’s how Happiness Practice helped two people just last week:

The daily Happiness Practice was a wonderful reminder to start the day remembering the goodness the surrounds us all. Be Happy Now. After all, isn’t that all we have? Now. — Betsy Guagin

The Happiness Practice couldn’t have been scheduled at a better time, as an old wound presented itself for healing. The daily prompts helped me work through a time of great agitation. I feel grounded, settled and realizing every moment of everyday. Thank you for your support and mentoring. You are a teacher’s teacher. — Mary Jo DiBenedetto

HAPPINESS HELPER #2

It’s easier to stay happy when you have healthy, compassionate boundaries. If you are thinking, “I wish” — wish no longer!

Join me for a free online class in which I’ll share practical, spiritual tips to improve your boundaries. Click here to be notified of the next online class.

The post Happy Now appeared first on Pamela Miles.

It seems a thick cloud of anxiety has settled in, and no matter where you live, there is plenty to blame it on. But where does blaming events we cannot control leave us?

In a thick cloud of anxiety.

Whether it’s politics or terrorism or the economy or health concerns, so many things can go wrong in so many ways, and for many, fear has become a constant companion.

Stop now please

Don’t go there. For your sake and the sake of all of us, don’t run after all the ways your life could be upended at any moment. Don’t let your mind wander into what-ifs. Don’t vote for panic.

Stay present with what’s right. Come home now.

Every day

Your daily spiritual practice is a visit home. When you come home to yourself every day, you feel supported and nourished. You remember your value…and your values.

Your chosen spiritual practice might be Reiki, meditation, yoga, qigong, prayer — the list of possibilities is long. Or it could be something as simple as pausing to smile.

No matter which practice(s) you rely on to bring you home, you’ll create the most benefit for yourself (and those around you) by practicing daily, as in every day.

When you practice daily, you develop the habit of coming home to yourself instead of spinning into anxiety even when you are not practicing. Imagine how that will transform your life.

Keep coming home. Practice coming home. Practice now.

The post Come Home Now appeared first on Pamela Miles.

Don’t wait for a more special occasion — Happy New You starts anytime you choose. Right now is a good time.

Pause now for a moment of happiness.

How to do that? It’s so simple. Just take a moment and smile. Not at anyone, not for any reason. Just smile to enjoy the feeling a smile brings. Feel your smile move through you. Feel your radiance.

Your happiness habit

Did you ever imagine happiness could be so easy?

Well, there is one small catch. Happy New You is not a choice you make once and done. It’s a choice you make every day, at least once a day. It’s a practice.

You want to be good at being happy, don’t you? Practice is how you get good at something, by practicing, and practicing regularly. Did I mention, every day? As in being happy every day, at least for a moment.

Practice makes happy

When you practice happiness consistently, your practice becomes a habit, a very good habit, one that links you to your happiness. The path to happiness becomes one you know very well.

When your life includes the Happy New You habit, your life is transformed. When you are happy, you make choices that help you stay happy.

And when you practice happiness consistently, other less savory habits naturally weaken.

You don’t need another resolution to break; you need an easy habit to support you. One you can start now and enjoy anytime you want. A happiness habit.

Help for your Happy New You practice

Here are two free supports for your Happy New You practice. Please choose one — or both!

21 Days of Happiness emails help you start your Happy New You whether or not you have any experience with spiritual practice.

A month of daily self-Reiki support is for everyone who has been trained to practice Reiki in any lineage or practice style.

Happiness starts with clear, compassionate boundaries. The boundary you set around your Happy New You practice, for example. Need help with that? Join me for Blessed Boundaries.

The post Happy New You Now — Here’s How! appeared first on Pamela Miles.

Have you visited your center lately?

Not the outside center where you feel the support of your community — although that’s also a good idea — but your inside center, that state where you feel like your true self, the steady, grounded version of yourself that might now seem like a distant memory.

Center for stamina

You’ve heard a lot about the fight or flight response. There is a third way you can experience the stress response: you can freeze, unable to respond at all.

Winston Churchill advised, “If you’re going through hell, keep going.”

But how can you soldier on when you feel frozen, your nerves are frayed, you’re not sleeping well, and you see your stamina draining moment by moment?

Backing out of chaos

These times are made for spiritual practice.

When times are tough, it actually becomes easier to experience the gentle transformative power of spiritual practice. Even a brief practice will refresh you and move you towards your center, and brief practice repeated daily can literally transform your life.

All you have to do is actually practice (it’s not enough to just think about practicing).

Spiritual practice creates the habit of transformation, of strategic retreat. You back out of the chaos and into your stillness.

Retreat to your center

I live in New York City in what has lately been referred to as the United States of Anxiety. I practice Reiki and meditation daily, and yoga most days. That’s how I go beyond coping to experience peace and find my creativity.

Even with decades of daily spiritual practice, I can hardly wait to lead the Heart of Practice Reiki Retreat because I know six days of practice in a natural setting will take me even deeper and refresh me more profoundly than my home practice does. And there’s science to support that wellness weeks create lasting benefit. (If you are thinking of joining us, early retreat fees end Saturday, February 4.)

I know coming to Mexico might not be an option for you right now. That’s why I’m leading Blessed Boundaries, a retreat you can do at home, in 20-30 minutes a day, on your schedule, with unlimited online support from me and an international community of people like you reaching for their center.

Maybe you cannot join us for Blessed Boundaries, but surely you can watch the free introduction. You’ll learn five different, simple practices for free, practices you can start using immediately to quickly improve your state. We practice them together and you can continue practicing on your own. Or revisit the recording as many times as you want. And did I mention it’s free?

Center to change

We can’t create the world we envision without a commitment to finding our center every day, and returning to center throughout the day.

These times are made for spiritual practice. If you want to transform your world, the first step is to transform your own state. Please join me.

The post Why You Need to Center, and How You Can appeared first on Pamela Miles.

Still working on your self care resolutions? Or have you forgotten you made any?

Or maybe you’re like me and let the whole resolution frenzy pass you by. Once I saw the very short shelf life resolutions have, my attitude became: why bother? 

But I never gave up on self care.

Why make self care resolutions?

Rather than jumping to make promises you know you won’t keep, let’s explore the reasons for making self care resolutions. What good is self care, anyway?

Well, a lot of good, actually. Self care is the care only you can give yourself; if you don’t do it, it won’t get done. And we know what happens to things we don’t take care of…

Rather than being a drudge, self care makes you more fun to be, doesn’t it?

When you take care of yourself, you feel better. When you feel better, you function better. You’re more creative, less reactive. And not only are you your better self, self care also makes you a better family member, a better friend, a better partner, co-worker, citizen.

Self care is your social responsibility. And self care is part of your every day.

You already have a number of self care resolutions in place. Brushing your teeth, for example. Not flossing–too big a stretch for some of us–just brushing, a simple act of self care you practice at least twice a day and wouldn’t dream of skipping.

Why do you brush your teeth? Likely for both the immediate payoff–your mouth tastes better–and the long term benefit–keeping your pearly whites as long as possible.

Let’s not stop at brushing your teeth. What other self care do you practice routinely, and why? What would it take to expand that circle of care?

Turning self care resolutions into self care habits

Your most valuable self care is not an occasional extravagance; it’s lifestyle, small things you practice every day.

Self care has to be practiced consistently. No matter how many times you brush your teeth today, you still need to brush them tomorrow. And the day after.

You know one yoga class won’t cure your aching back. A single meditation might relieve the headache you have now, but it won’t keep you from  getting another one eventually.

How do you go from making a self care resolution to building a self care habit? Start with something you enjoy, and don’t go whole hog. Try under-doing it.

Want a meditation habit? Don’t start with hour sessions.

Start by sitting up in bed for five minutes before you jump into your day. Five minutes is short enough to be doable, and long enough to start your day from a more settled space. You can start by listening to this.

From self care resolution to self care revolution

In this culture, a commitment to self care is so bold, it’s revolutionary. But it’s a sweet, gradual, peaceful revolution.

If you want to be happier and healthier, to live your life with a sense of well-being, make one small act of self care today. Pay attention as you take care of yourself. Notice the details of how you feel. Then stay with that feeling a moment longer.

Don’t expect an overnight turnaround. Savor the experience rather than judging the results. Be willing to build your happiness and health the time-tested old-fashioned way, step-by-step, choice-by-choice.

Pay attention to your routine acts of self care. Enjoy being right there with yourself.

Paying attention heightens the benefit. And helps you notice that when you feel better, you function better and you make better choices–choices that keep you feeling better and functioning better.

Self care is an act of slow, relentless revolution. Let’s start the revolution now, or rather, soon. First pause to list your personal reasons, the reasons you’ll return to for inspiration to sustain your revolution.

What’s your why?

I practice daily self care because I enjoy my life and I want to still be fun when I’m 101.

I’m more than half way there, and as the years accumulate, I’ve noticed in some ways, age makes it easier to be fun. And in other ways, age makes it harder. Daily self care makes the harder ways easier.

Now it’s your turn. Please share your personal self care reasons, the ones that really motivate you, the ones you can remember in the moment when you need support.

You can find those reasons anywhere in your life. You might even find them in your family, perhaps your (grand)kids–those you have or those you hope to have.

Please share your most motivating reason in a comment below. Who knows, your reason might inspire someone else to find theirs!

_________________

After you share your comment, here are some gifts and tips to make your self care easier:

Even listening to a guided meditation provides a few minutes of effective self care. Here’s a free breath meditation from my Meditate CD.

Keeping healthy, compassionate boundaries is good for you and everyone around you. Learn tips on my free Blessed Boundaries intro. Register here to participate live or by replay.

Reiki is by far the easiest, most accessible self care practice. Basic Reiki self care is easy to learn, but you need to choose carefully as there are no standards for Reiki training or education. Click here for the information you need to make a meaningful Reiki connection.

The post Forget Your Self Care Resolutions appeared first on Pamela Miles.